A big catch-up post

Hi All,

First off, thank you to all the folks who keep reading even though we almost never post anymore! I do have a wonderful excuse, I am a new mom!

I don't have any paid time off so when I am home with Aidai my mom helps watch her and I try to work but I can't make too many phone calls in case she decided to be noisy but I do alot of paperwork and email and make calls when she is napping. I am in charge of the major holiday stuff, lots of people come forward to support the military. We have an internal Giving Tree which has 25 families with 1-6 kids each on it and I have hand made all the tags. I get help from coworkers on tracking down the info for the people and one other person helps enter it all onto a spreadsheet. I'm also in charge of sorting about 5,000 toys from Dollar Tree and getting them out to unit holiday events and families in need. It makes for a busy season but it is good cause there are lots of opportunities to work weekends which helps keep my hours up. And, it is probably my favorite project of the year which is why I volunteered to take the lead.

I haven't really felt like posting because I have so much I want to say about all the crap we dealt with and are still dealing with through this process and I just haven't had the energy to get it all out even though it would be helpful for me to let it all out. Numerous people were concerned that I would be volatile about things and shut down the program but, for the record, I haven't said anything to anyone official and yet the program is stalled. I wish it was different but I can't say that I am suprised. I can't imagine the heartbreak of the families waiting to bring their children home and I just hope they make positive changes, sooner rather than later, and get kids home in a responsible manner while treating all parties involved with respect. It is so hard to explain in writing and I don't want this to sound horrible but here it goes. She is worth it, yes, but sometimes I'm not sure I would do it again. We could have lost so much to this process if the cards had fallen differently. I would do it again if I knew the result would be positive but I don't know that I would ever choose to take the risks we did. Financially things are very tough, we both had moments we were on anti-anxiety pills, Bill went on blood pressure meds and I became someone I didn't recognize. All of it has just taken a gynormous toll and by the grace of God we made it through without long-lasting damage being done, I hope. The process shakes you to the core, it changes your view of the world, your work performance, marriage, self-image, EVERYTHING. You think certain things before the process and the aftermath is totally reevaluating much of what you thought you knew about yourself and every aspect of your life. Atleast that has been my experience.

I never posted that the DAY BEFORE we flew on trip one we closed on our house and we moved 6 days after we got back. Our previous house was 2 family and we didn't really have the space for her and it didn't change our finanical situation because that house pays for itself. We were planning on having all the paperwork redone but we had no time since we only had 8 days notice for trip one and didn't know we were actually going to close until the day before. Keep in mind, we first saw the house we now live in over a year ago and it just took FOREVER to close because it was bank-owned. In case you all are wondering how my mom is always around...she now lives in the apartment above our garage!

We are dealing with alot of medical things with Aidai. On trip one we were told we would get her file, they pointed to it and said we would get it but now we are being told that we must have misunderstod the translation (not sure how you misunderstand a pointed finger) because really we only were ever supposed to get one sheet. So 4 years in the orphanage and we get one sheet. I think we will have a hard time helping her without more information on the issues with her feet. According to the IA doctor, there is a possibility Aidai might have had polio. We are waiting for the titres to come back to see if the vaccine "took" in her system. I'm thinking maybe the pnuemonia she was hospitalized for was actually Polio since she never had any other hospitalizations. If her muscles were damaged by Polio I think the treatment could be different that if they are just weak. With Polio she'll never recover the parts that have been damaged but we should be able to manage it. If it is just not using the leg from malformation than the muscle might be able to be regenerated. Without knowing more details about when the leg started showing a problem, I think it will be difficult. I'm of course just guessing, the missing medicals might not hurt anything but it would have been nice to have them. I hope the orthopedic doctor can shed some light on all this, we go there on the 12th.

She had a rough day at the IA doctor when we went a few weeks ago. She didn't do alot of their tests very well, she wanted to do her own thing. They think she is functioning at about a 2 year old level. I can see that in some ways but in others she is definitely much more advanced then 2. She also had 5 tubes of blood drawn, oh what fun! We have the first meeting with the school next week. Hopefully they will decide to move forward and will begin the assessment process for the preschool. She is delayed in her native language so she should qualify. The school seems to think, from phone conversations, that her legs won't affect her education so therefore no PT but considering we call her "Crash" and she can't be trusted not to knock the whole class down, domino style, I think they need to give her PT for everyone's health and safety.

She goes back to the eye doctor next week too. We will find out if they can see any strengthening of the muscle in her crossed eye. Hopefully the patch is helping, we think it is. We'll also revisit the contact lens discussion.

I am hoping to get her into the doctor tomorrow for a skin issue. When we picked her up she had these pus filled blister type things on her hands that opened and then dried out and went away. They don't look anything like Scabies but I think the Scabies cream we treated her with was so heavy duty that it dried out whatever nastiness she had. She hasn't had any new ones since we picked her up and none of the rest of us have any. Then today, she develops another one on her thumb, same hand as before. So I have to call at 7:30am tomorrow and try to get a same day appointment.

She knows alot of words in English now. She loves animals and can name alot of them. Counting is a work in progress as are colors. She's got "spaghetti" down!

I am very excited for Thanksgiving and my upcoming birthday. I'm in charge of dinner, I figure I can cook once a year. I am trying some new things. Meaning, everything but the turkey cause about the only thing I have ever cooked not out of a box is turkey. I am all about the sales since money is low. I'll do the doorbusters since she'll wake me up at 7am anyway! No 5am shopping for me even with the "complimentary until 8am" breakfast that Sam's is offering.

We definitely have lots of things to be thankful for this year, like Aidai and still having a sliver of sanity. =)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Elizabeth

Musical Duo

Josh was here for the weekend, and last night the two of them spent some time jammin'. Aidai started out on the bongos and ended up on her brother's lap strumming the strings while Josh fingered cords. Great fun for everyone. Aidai idolizes her brother, it's so much fun watching them together, Josh is great with her. Happy thanksgiving everyone!

Bill

Huggin' and Kissin'

Hi All
Bill again. We're sorry to keep our avid readers hanging, but keep in mind that we are a little busy with a 4 year old. We are fortunate enough to have a very well adjusted 4 year old, which means, mini-adult. Quite fun, and challenging at the same time. She's awesome, the title of my blog stems from the last couple of days, as much as we've hugged and kissed her, I wonder how much she understood it, but I think she's realized that not only does it feel nice to get, it feels nice to give. I've gotten more hugs and kisses(keep in mind kisses are mostly given to a "smooth" face....I'll teach her about shaving soon, with Josh in tow) in the last two days than ever. Tonight she had to kiss "Papa" 4 times.....we're also working on our numbers.....and I got 3 hugs after 2 books.....this is so much fun.....on Friday I get Josh, he doesn't know yet that I've exposed Aidai to the guitar, he'll love it.....by the way, Josh got a 4.0 in his first quarter as a freshman! I'm very proud of him.

More soon, more photo's soon

Bill

New Photo

As I sat down tonight to post some photos of our little darling with her glasses, I realized as I got to the end of the memory stick that this is the only one we have of her right now, go figure, of course there will soon be more, but here she is with both glasses and patch, and of course her make-shift "basset ears". She loves wearing her glasses and does really well with her patch, thankfully that's only for about 4 hours a day, it's great seeing her be able to really see! She's the cutest, she's absolutely wonderful, her giggle and laugh are infectious, she's a ton of fun (actually about 40lbs. of fun, but by the end of the day that's enough), and I love her!!!

Bill

Bill's back

We've been quite busy as you can imagine, but all is good!! For those of you who saw the article in our paper know that at whatever level a 4 year old can think she's a rock-star, Aidai took in all of it everywhere we went that morning that sold the Sentinel, Aidai was pointing her photo out to everyone who cared or seemed to! I will say this, we are the luckiest couple alive, our daughter is awesome. Every bit a 4 year old, having gone through this once before, I'm totally diggin' the instant fun of having a 4 year old. Elizabeth has said I need to post some photos, especially of Aidai in glasses, but I'm a bit of a thechno-phobe, and a bit of a techno-dork, so I'm not sure I can pull that off tonight, but I will try to post a link to a youtube video of Josh and his "band" playing a spoof of a Jimi Hendrix tune....Josh is the guitar player....and Aidai LOVES HIM....check it out if you have time, and I'll be back, hopefully with photos!!!

Bill......here's Josh......http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOR9WgjQDU4

We made the front page!

The wedding we attended the day after we got home was covered by the local newspaper. The reporter was a wonderful woman who had spent time in Central Asia and speaks Russian. She asked if she could get in touch to do a story about adoption. She interviewed us this week and called yesterday to say it would be in today's paper. Little did we know that it would be on the front page!

If you want to see the article it should be on the website all day at www.keenesentinel.com Our picture will show up on the home page and you can click on that or the link on the right that says "A connection unplugged?"

We are so excited!

Elizabeth

Maggie wins!!

Since her arrival home, Aidai has had to slowly learn that the dogs aren't going away, nor are they there to terrorize her. Slowly she's warmed up to them, playing games with them through the safety of baby gates from time to time calling them over, of course all three of them are totally into her. Well the other day I had Aidai on my lap on the couch, and called up Maggie, she's our..hmmm...let's say "challenged" one. Aidai was handling the close proximity fairly well, Elizabeth went to grab the camera. Aidai is a bit of a ham when it comes to the camera and leans a little closer to center, and opened herself right up, Maggie saw her chance, the chance they've all been waiting for, for oh so many days, out came the tongue and miss Maggie planted a big "I love you" Kiss right on miss Aidai's lips. Her eyes opened as big as I've seen them open, and her for arm was wiping of cooties before you could blink, but the look on Maggie's face was priceless, she had won!! Even now you can see her savoring that moment in time over and over, needless to say Aidia is a little less hesitant to let down her guard again, but if the stooges have nothing else, they have patience.

Pediatrician Visit

We headed to the pediatrician on Halloween afternoon. We had an interpreter for this visit, actually 2 (no clue why) so they sent one home. I'm thinking about reporting the interpreter we had because she crossed some serious boundaries and she knew it. She kept saying, "I'm going to break the rules just to say..." and she did that numerous times. She told us she thought the doctor was wrong about what we think is cleared up scabies or other insect bite. She thinks it is measles (ummmm so not). She told us not to give her processed foods, she should be a vegetarian, she doesn't need to eat meat, we shouldn't give her too many vaccinations, don't give her the chicken pox vaccine etc etc etc. It was really annoying and soooo not her place. I know I know, it is just cultural but I'm in freaking America now and I'm not going to put up with people telling me what to do with my kid unless they are a respected medical doctor.

So anyway, she did make it easier to give Aidai direction. Basically what we got out of the visit was that Aidai weighs 38lbs and is 39.5 inches tall (which everyone seems to think makes her a giant). The doctor thinks her feet will be repairable with orthopedic shoes and maybe splints but she's not totally sure. She gave us a referral to the pediatric orthopedic doctor that we wanted to see and is also going to give us a referral to the international adoption clinic so that our insurance will cover it. She also said to let the adoption clinic do titres and figure out the best schedule for future vaccinations.

Elizabeth

Eye doctor visit

A note about her medical info - on trip one we were promised a translated copy of her entire file. Yet another lie, we only got one page of information which was the same page we had at referral. I couldn't tell the doctor when they noticed her eye turning in and I can't fill out the school's paperwork which asks when she sat up, when she said her first word, etc. I bet the information is in that file that we were promised.

On Thursday we took Aidai to her appointment with the eye doctor. I was very anxious to find out what the treatment for her eye would be and I was worried about how the appointment would go without an interpreter. They measured the level of her eye turning in and then dilated her eyes which didn't go well because we couldn't tell her that they were going to put drops in but that they wouldn't hurt so she screamed through that. Then we went to the playroom to wait for the dilation and she didn't seem to want to play nice with the two girls that came in (although the girls were pushy) so she had a meltdown when we removed her from the play area. She eventually got over it and we went back in to see the doctor. She had to do the exam and that required me sitting with Aidai in my lap and restraining her hands while Bill stood behind the doctor and tried to get Aidai's attention. This would have been easy except the lights were off and they were shining the light into her dilated eyes and she wouldn't keep her crossed eye open so they had to hold it open which just increased the crying.

I'm not quite sure of how any of those tests gave them her visual acuity. When I scheduled the appointment they said there would be matching games for her to do and such but they didn't do any of those. I think it would have been easier with an interpreter but we managed. Anyway, they somehow did determine what was going on with her vision and determined a treatment plan.

Her right eye has no prescription needed. Her left eye is the issue. It is crossed because the vision is so poor in that eye that she hasn't been using it so the muscles have weakened. For those of you that don't know about eye prescriptions, I'll give you something as a comparison. I am nearsighted, I can't see far away. My prescription is a -2.00 and I can't see the TV guide from the couch 10-15ft away. Aidai's prescription in her left eye is -6.00 which means she really can't see anything with that eye that isn't right in front of her face. So we ordered glasses for her on the spot and we will pick those up Tuesday. I am also going to be taught how to put a contact in her eye on Tuesday. They want us to have both options for her. In addition, we have to patch her good eye 4 hours a day and engage her in visually interesting inside play when she is patched. In December we go back for another check to see if her muscles are getting any stronger in her left eye.

Here is a picture of her eye patches. The box has 5 different styles.

Gift from Alihan and family

Aidai received a beautiful and most appropriate gift from Alihan and family today!
A Build-A-Bear girl with glasses! Aidai LOVES the bear and it is perfect timing since she too will soon have glasses. Often the glasses are on Aidai instead of the bear!

Some pictures from the week

She's in to everything!

She looooooves juice

She woke up before us and put these PJ's on

Hammering with Papa

Tea Party with Papa

Showing off her pajamas