Last Day Pictures

Buh-bye

Hi All,

Well today we said Buh-bye to Aidai and her to us. I think it probably was the hardest thing I have ever done. We had a pretty good day with her t the park and then we went back early so we had some quiet time with her to say goodbye. We gave her the photo album which was a huge hit. It has picture of us with her as well as previously taken photos of Josh, Ellen, Oma, Papi, Uncle Mike and Aunt Jen.

She has become alot more verbal this past week and when we gave her the photo album she asked the interpreter "Is it mine?". It is the only thing that is really hers, well that and the Pooh bear we gave her today. We also brought new shoes because the kids wear the same shoes everyday so we figured she would always have something from us with her. We don't expect any of the clothes, shoes, or toys we gave her back except for the album and Pooh.

Once she looked through the album our interpreter explained to her that we had to go away on an airplane and that we would come back but not for many days. They mentioned a little boy who went home a few months ago to help her understand that we will come back like his Mama and Papa did. They said she seems to understand, we pray that she really does.

Then it was time to take her to lunch and say goodbye. We took her back to her group and she went right to the nurse to show her the new things she had and told her all about the pictures. She says Mama and Papa really well but Josh comes out like Osh right now. Not too bad considering she just saw his picture today. I think she is very excited to have a brat (brother).

Whe hugged her tight and kissed her and told her we loved her. She waved her little hand and once again said "buh-bye" and then turned to get ready for lunch. I honestly just bolted out of the building and down the path and lost myself in hysterical tears. Bill came out and we cried and then it was time for the drive back. We had our interpreter and coordinator in the car and really didn't want to be public with my grief so we basically got ourselves together. Having small talk all the way to the hotel made it easier because then I didn't have to think.

We've both shed a few tears since this afternoon but are doing okay. I think the anxiety of having to say goodbye and wondering how bad it would be was the worst part. I still hurt and miss her already but atleast that is the last time I will ever have to leave her at the orphanage. When we return we go get her the day after we arrive and she comes to the hotel with us from then on.

I will be completely honest and say that I am in the minority out of those of us here (Bill and the other family). I DO NOT want to go home at all. I honestly don't care when I see any of you people again! I know that I will see you all eventually so it just really isn't a priority, I want to be with my child. I feel guilty saying that, but I am pretty sure you all understand. I think when I am home and busy with preparations for her, I will be fine, but now I just could care less.

I knew I would love her, I had no idea how much.

Elizabeth

Bill's comments on comments =)

Well, I think I may have just hit a wrong button and posted nothing but a title....I'll check that out soon. Elizabeth and I were contemplating staying up for the next 48 hours hoping that would slow the clock down, but I just rubbed Elizabeth's feet which tends to send her into dreams, and for as late as she was up last night, that's a good place for her, I'll try to sleep soon. I just wanted to let you all know that I've finally taken time to read some of your comments to our site, please don't feel that you need to comment, reading and following along is fine! It was nice to hear from you though. We've "literally" been able to travel with a great family, you guys mean a lot to us, and we hold you in our prayers!!!!! We have also be fortunate enough to travel "figuratively" with a few of those who have come before us. Who you are, and how you have set the stage here for us is amazing, Thank you and your families, I can not wait to meet you, to meet your children, and continue a bond that will be everlasting!!! Chris, it was very nice to hear from you!! Hopefully Bob knows about the blog as well, if not please share it with him. Denise...thank you!! I'm so glad that you are Elizabeth's friend!! Janice, and I believe that there are two of you.....thanks for your love and support as well.

I'm sure I missed a couple of you, sorry.....but still feel free to comment or not to, please just continue to follow us and think of us.....Elizabeth and I know that we are going to hurt, and as adults we know that there will be an end, please pray that Aidai will understand.....that's always been the most important thing for me.......I fell in love with a photo, she, I believe, has fallen in love with a Papa.......I don't want, even for a moment, for her to think that we're gone......

Bill's comments on comments =)

Bill's Back

What a day....if you haven't read Elizabeth's post yet, please take the time to read hers first, because I am mostly going to add to or talk about what she's already said. Before all that though, I'm going to take the time to say "Hi Mom and Dad, Mike and Jen..miss you =(....Hi Ellen..can't wait to see you =).....Lolly, it was great to hear from the other Sevigny clan...our family is getting bigger, I hope you all are enjoying what you're reading....Hi Paul....and finally Josh...every time I think of either you or Aidai, and it's a lot of both, my eyes just well up!! I miss you pal, I can not wait to be with you, I can't wait to waddle the stooges with you and just talk to you, hear you and love you....today Elizabeth and I we laughing about the first time we have she and I, you, Sir Charles, Pickers, Little Mae Mae and Aidai all on the bed trying to watch "Cops"...I'll be in heaven.

For any of our loyal readers who have no idea what that was all about...feel free to ignore or ask questions....thanks for indulging in my selfishness.

I e-mailed my brother Mike earlier, I could say this morning, this afternoon, either way still means nothing to me in this twilight zone...I know it was morning here or there, and quite the opposite here...anyways Mike's a guy I know I can say anything to, but even after hitting the send button, I wondered if it may have seemed to harsh. Now that I've had time to think about it, I don't think so and I will try to convey a little to you. I woke up feeling like I was in the second circle of Dante's Inferno and heading deeper. It's a bit over an hour from here to Tokmok, where the orphanage is, and I'm pretty sure that I wept the whole time, mad at God because we have to leave, and he's an easy target. Then we got to the park with Aidai, you'll know about this from Elizabeth's post, what happened there was wonderful. Parents who once scorned us were laughing and clapping as we played with their children, it sounded like an angelic choir as the kids were calling Aidai's name from across the playground and waving, she was a real little girl, maybe for the first time ever, she tried all the things that she had only stared at for the last two weeks, everything, and as a "mother hen" papa, I was both nervous and thrilled. We saw the change in our daughter, and it was wonderful, and I am so glad that we had that experience....I can't even imagine what wonders tomorrow will bring, unfortunately there will be a lot of heart ache and pain, I hurt so much right now, Josh..Mom..I'll be okay, promise....I'm just really sad......Josh, if I laugh and cry at the same time, when I see you, you'll understand why, I'm sure.....

I've got a great sermon about orphanages brewing in my head, but I'll spare you all for this evening....So I'll just hit spell check, which is always entertaining, and wish you all a good morning, afternoon, evening or night, pick whichever works best for you....then I'll go cry with Elizabeth.

Almost Goodbye

Well today was a very emotional day for both of us. Tomorrow we say goodbye to Aidai. I'm not sure how I am going to do that without completely breaking down in front of her. I know we will need to be strong for her but we are just so heartbroken to leave her. We have a photo album to leave with her and our interpreter is going to explain to her that we will be back and use other kids whose parents have made two trips as an example. Oh how I envy the people who can afford to stay for the 6 weeks between trips.

We were able to put the inevitable out of our minds while we were with her and we had a great time as usual. For the past few weeks we have gone to the park with her and she has played in the dirt with us or on the swings. While we played we would be watched, and frankly stared at, by all the adults and kids in the park. Well today something evidently changed. We had kids surrounding us talking to us to try their English and asking us to watch them perform tricks on the equipment. The kids would choose swings next to Aidai and say her name and wave at her. They even helped us get her through the various tubes and, drumroll please, down the slide! Something just clicked with her today, she wanted to be like all the other kids and she totally was. She climbed backwards up the slides and climbed and played on all the structures. There were some older kids, maybe 10-teen, playing cards at a table. She went over to watch and one of the girls put her on her lap and let her "help". They even were teaching her something with her hands, looked like Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Needless to say Bill and I were amazed by how we had suddenly been welcomed into their world with open arms and were moved to tears by their treatment of Aidai. We have no idea what changed between yesterday and today. I guess everyone just kind of let their guard down at the same time, I don't know! We definitely needed it though, we can't wait to go to the park tomorrow and see what happens!

Those last two hours will be pure bliss...

Elizabeth

Daily Update

Hi All,


Another good day with Aidai. We went to the park again and had an ice cream treat. Today she had on a pretty pink dress we got her, size 3T, and attempted to climb the structure for the first time. Only two more days to build her confidence up to going down the slide! She had fun on the swing and with an ice cream treat. It has been about 95 degrees here, ugh. After our time with her she had her eyes dilated and had a routine eye exam. Her eyes look fine, other than the one being crossed having partial vision only. We will know more when we get her home. She may never have the best vision but she'll be able to get by just fine it seems. We got pictures developed today, we needed 5 of them for court and the rest we got to leave in an album we are going to leave with her. I need to put Russian titles on all the pictures but just haven't done it yet, makes it to real that we are leaving.


This afternoon we went on a long walk just to get out of the hotel and away from all the feelings and thoughts about everything we have bene through. Granted, we talked alot on the walk, but somehow walking just seems to help. It has been an emotional day, for many reasons, but we are finding strength in each other and from all of you.